I’m actually really getting sick of hearing all the whining from adults about how “kids these days” are acting. How is it that within this interconnected information line we all share that nobody realizes that kids act the way they do because of the way they’re raised?
Seriously, parents, it’s you. It’s completely you, and I hope more people start picking up on this. The next time a kid acts out, I want everyone to look at you and say “what the hell are you teaching that kid?”
Here’s a few things I think parents should fully take the blame for, and how we should treat them based on how their kid acts.
Bullies
Bullies exist damn near everywhere… even as adults. However, you mostly see them as children. There are videos galore about kids who are bullied. Here’s a question I’d like to ask: what are your parents teaching you? Because when I see a bully, I recognize 2 distinct plausible possibilities:
- That kid’s parents actively teach their kid to be a douche.
- That kid’s parents have failed to teach their kid that it’s wrong.
I think the more realistic possibility is the latter, but I like to think we should all assume the former just to put the fire under that parent’s ass. So, do you train your kid on a daily basis to be like this? Sure looks like you did; they’re really good at it. How did these training sessions go?
“Ok, that girl’s mom just died, now run up to her and tell her that she deserved it, and she was probably a whore, and she was a fuckup, and she never loved you! That’ll get her nice and mad! HAHA!”
“Look, that boy’s smaller than you. Isn’t that funny? Weak people are God’s way of bringing us entertainment. Go on over there, and push him to the ground. If he cries, you’ve succeeded. Great job! Now kick dirt in his face. Oh, and make sure everyone else sees it so they can laugh too! Everybody loves a good beatdown!”
“Hey look! A fat girl! Go remind her of how fat she is! Make her hate herself! Fat people shouldn’t be here, and they deserve to be ridiculed! Go get ‘em!”
“Uh oh! That boy’s gay! Well we have no room for that, now do we? Homosexuality is a weakness! Exploit it. You’re not gay, so you need to show everybody how weak being gay is! Laugh at the little faggot! Spit in his face!”
This is how I imagine parents of bullies must be, and I think everyone should begin assuming it. I know it’s irrational, but just think for a minute… If this is the way everyone would immediately assume you are raising your kid, wouldn’t you quickly put an end to the whole thing?
Psychos
I’ve touched on this before, but once again, I have to bring out the same two possibilities again. Either they’re not paying attention, or they’re actively teaching their kid to be a psycho.
Here’s a question: how the hell do you not know your kid is a psycho? Are you not close with your children? Do you not talk to them? Are you not involved in their life at all? My parents were, so what’s your fucking excuse?
Have a look at any previous school massacre, and you’ll see these kids planned that shit a year in advance. They wrote blog posts, articles, diaries, and all sorts of things that should have been red flags. It was all publicly available. Did you not know about it?
Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold are on video shooting a variety of different guns. They posted website after website about how much they wanted people to die, and how much people deserved to die. Did you somehow miss this shit? Or maybe… just maybe you were right there behind ‘em cheering them on!
And the first thing you did was point your finger at video games and music. Nice try; this was all shit that had nothing to do with games and music. It had to do with sick motherfucking kids. They got good at lying. I would like to ask why you’re such a naive idiot, but that would be too forward.
You caused this. You could have stopped it. These kids were already in a mental institution… And when they got out, they burned things and built bombs for fun. Open your fucking eyes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s better to lock ‘em up and feel like shit than it is to let ‘em go on a killing rampage and live with the guilt of all the deaths caused by your inability to get your head out of your ass.
Overweight kids
No, it’s not the video games. No, it’s not McDonald’s, nor their happy meal toys. It’s you. Do you know nothing about decent nutrition? Oh I hear it all the time… “Well, my child doesn’t like that stuff. If I don’t give him what he wants, he won’t eat!” You know how that shit was handled when I was growing up? “Fine, go hungry! Go to bed, turn out the lights, and fuck you. Start crying, and I’ll give you a reason to cry. Have a nice evening!” We didn’t even cop out with that “well you’ll sit there until it’s all eaten” crap. Guess what happens? You get hungrier than you’ve ever been in your life, and you suddenly don’t mind eating broccoli or mashed potatoes. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll find a way to get it down.
But what about the exercise? “They spend all day playing video games, so they don’t get any exercise!” Perhaps you should get off your own overweight, out of shape, fat lard ass and push ‘em to work out. Is it hard? Yeah, well, you wanted children, so this is what you get. It’ll take you 45 minutes. Maybe you can work out with ‘em and be healthy yourself.
Unruly kids
These are the whining little shits in grocery stores who throw a tantrum when they don’t get their candy bar in the checkout line. Here’s a clue: apparently, they’ve learned that this is acceptable behavior. I learned very early on that it was unacceptable. It involved pain, but you can be more creative. Pull out a stopwatch. Hit the button, and show them how long they’re carrying on. When they finally stop, you can stop the watch, and show them how long they were acting like that, then punish them as such. Off to your room you go, and flip the electrical breaker so they can’t play any video games. If they protest, pull out the watch again. “Let’s see how much longer we can make this last.” It’ll take 1 or 2 bouts of this before it catches on, but they’ll soon realize that the more they act like this, the less fun they get to have.
How about these kids that take too damn long to do anything? Tired of your kid making you late when you wanna go places? Taking too long to get dressed and get ready for school? Here’s a thought: leave without ‘em. Yeah, fuck it. Now they get to explain to everyone why they missed their assignments the previous day – because they’re too fucking lazy to get shit done on time. That’s what my mom did… and guess what – it worked! The rest of us have a schedule to keep. You either get on that schedule, or get left behind. It’s that simple.
How about the kids that flat out disrespect their parents? They talk back, hit, and swear. Once again: you allow this. And the moment these parents try to do anything, their kid threatens to call social services. Know what my parents’ reaction to that was? “Ok, go ahead. In fact, I’ll help you pack!” I never threatened it because I wasn’t an idiot. I knew how good I had it. Your kid threatens, and you say “oh no, please, you don’t wanna do that. I love you…” You know what you should say instead? “Ok, you know what? Give me the phone. I’ll call ‘em up myself. Go pack your shit. You’ll be outta here by tomorrow.” See if that doesn’t get ‘em to change their mind really fucking quick. “And the next time you pull this shit, I will call ‘em up. Don’t fucking test me!” Don’t let ‘em get away with it. Oh hell, do it even if they’re being assholes. “You wanna talk to me like that? You wanna swear at me and treat me like dirt? That’s fine, you can go live somewhere else. I’m not putting up with you. Have a nice life!” Here’s an idea: military school. Every kid’s worst nightmare. You wanna be an asshole, fine: I’ll send you off to a place that’ll handle your ass. You get a vacation from these shitty kids, and they get to learn respect and kindness, as well as appreciation for how good they had it.
And if there’s one thing… one thing that kids do that drive me up the fucking wall is when parents put ‘em to bed, and they have the audacity to get back up and keep bothering their parents. “I want a drink! I want another story! I want I want I want…” They’ll even leave their room and cry about it all. “I can’t sleeeeeeep.” Know how my household dealt with that? “Tough shit, get back to bed or I’ll smack the shit outta you!” It built character. I knew I could leave my room if it was serious, but for bullshit reasons like that, I knew not to leave my room. I’d leave only to use the bathroom, and if I took too long, there’d be hell to pay. Seriously parents, you wonder why people don’t visit your house, and it’s shit like that. Kid’s in bed; it’s adult time. If your kid comes out, it means adult time never really started. The moment you support them doing this, you let them think they’re the boss of the house. They’re not – you’re the one going to work 40+ hours a week to keep the house up. They better shut the hell up and do as they’re told, because they contribute absolutely nothing to the cause!
“Ohhh, but that’s all terrible! And I don’t want to traumatize my kid!” Well why the hell not? Wait til real life arrives in their late teens and see how really traumatized they’ll get! Oh wait, you’ll shield ‘em from that, too, won’t you? Yeah, just let ‘em live at home until their mid-30s. Screw making your kid self-sufficient. I mean it’s not like you’re gonna die eventually, leaving them unable to fend for themselves. Nahhhh… let them be mama’s little loser.
You parents today make me sick. If what I’ve mentioned is “harsh” to you, then maybe you should consider the truth: real life is harsher than any of the shit I’ve told you to do. Disrespect people in real life (especially authority figures)? Say hello to a beating, termination from a job, or arrest and being held without bail in a jail cell. Take too long to get something done because they have no sense of urgency? Yeah: hello termination, and hello bankruptcy. Feel like throwing a temper tantrum whenever you don’t get your way? Say hello to living alone your whole life, and people laughing at you wherever you go. Think not reacting to bullying isn’t that big a deal? That’s fine; I’m sure your kid won’t mind being shot in the chest 5 times by someone who’s had it. Refuse to eat what’s on your plate in real life? Say hello to alienation because no one can take your needy ass anywhere. And I know that whole “get to bed and stay in it” thing seems nitpicky, but it’s not. It makes them needy. Do you like high-maintenance people who constantly need everything done for them? Do you like people who won’t do something they’re told and instead bitch, whine, and complain? Congratulations – you just raised one.
In closing, I’d like to bring up one final thing people will tell me. “Well, you’re not a parent, so you don’t know what you’re talking about.” I was a kid once, and I remember being raised. I also watched how other kids were raised, both as a child and as an adult. I’ve taken a greater interest in parenting than any of you, and every single case above that I’ve mentioned is relatable to a lesson taught to me as a kid. Those lessons were golden, and they made perfect sense. They were extremely valuable, and I’m glad I learned them and got conditioned around them. When I see your kids doing shit I never would have gotten away with, and I see what kinds of people they become as a result, then it doesn’t matter if I have kids of my own. I get that it’s hard and stressful to raise children, and a lot of what I’m saying seems to imply that all parents have the time/energy to exert on doing these things. Most parents don’t. And, to that I say “then maybe you shouldn’t have had kids.” I’m prepared to do everything I just listed. Because if I don’t, they turn out like unruly assholes who feel a sense of entitlement and believe that they’re in charge. If you don’t have that kind of energy/time/patience, then perhaps you need to get a vasectomy/historectomy and put your kid up for adoption. You not having the energy is your problem, not everyone else’s. And if you still think I’m being unfair: my mom did it as a single parent (she was married, but go no help from the dead-beat husbands she wound up with.) If she could do it by herself, then you have no fucking excuse.
I may not have all the answers, but I do see all the symptoms, and I do know that it’s your job as a parent to do something about it. Find a method that works, and do it. I don’t need to be a parent myself to know this.